Remember the old lady who lived in the shoe? She had so many children she did not know what to do. So, she went for a tubal ligation. …

Prince meets the love of his life, a true Princes, but she is down on her luck. The Prince is smitten and proposes marriage, but his mother (always the mother-in-law) is less sanguine about the gal’s qualities and requires a test – the Princess must sleep on twenty mattresses under which a pea will be placed. ….

Why can’t you hear Pterodactyls go to the bathroom? The answer is quite simple and may surprise you. Individuals suffering from kidney stones, on the other hand, are quite loud, . ….

Elvis the pelvis was known to shimmy and shake, but he could also wiggle and waggle. Some would say he was all shook up, but boy could he move those blue suede shoes. Each day he would head to the Heartbreak Hotel to avoid being lonesome that night. . ….

Water is vital in Dune. It is hoarded by the rich who deal in Spice (Melange), found only in Arrakis. Our intestines are Dune-like, given that they absorb and hoard most of the fluid we ingest. ….

Luella lived live to its fullest. She would readily put off what she should do today to tomorrow, or the next day, or whenever. And so it was with her Brazilian wax, getting ready for beach season could wait. ….

Ever since kindergarten we’ve been told “look before you cross.” In our second “childhood”, the saying becomes “look before you flush.” . ….

A 54 yo orthopedic surgeon has been training for 10 years to enter the senior circuit of the Tour de France. He cycles rain or shine for the equivalent of 100 miles per day. During a training mission a week before his departure date for France, our orthopod is hit by an automobile and lands on the pavement with a hard splat. . ….